Tuesday, November 24, 2009
{ 9:55 AM }
Some people laugh , And some people cry.
So when U and HER(R) are laughing, i'm crying.
i can accept if it's not so often like every single day. But it's not.. Both of u are msging with each other everyday! freaking scary and i feel so GOOD.
No mood for anything. Super late for school today..Didn't want to come, but yea, i came for the sake of jie ying and ming hui and Zi ya..
I know u need a good friend to talk to, but must it be everyday? just like a daily things u need to do? Am i invisible to u? i maybe childish at times but i definitely am not childish everytime. Stop using this reason for msging her.You make me feel so useless and just useless. Need another gal to be like more useful than me.
I'm pissed, sad and disappointed. I'm sorry if baby u ever read this post. I'm exploding already. i seriously am.
I wanted to lock this post but blogger can't unless i make my blog private.
This kind of feelings suck. i just cant seem to stop thinking over it.
I guess no gf can accept their bf msging with the same gal everyday? And if one day i don't mind it anymore, means there's something wrong already..
I'm seriously down down down. :(
Happy birthday my dear ZI YA! love u lots! (:
Sunday, November 22, 2009
{ 11:32 PM }
- Ears is blocked at times also.
What's wrong with me.. Feels so uncomfortable.. =(
Rahhhzz~~
Saturday, November 21, 2009
{ 11:29 PM }
Heyo ! time to update..
Hmm..Went to Sim Lim square yesterday to send baby's adapter for repair, suppose to go alone but i don't know the way there so i asked baby to accompany me there.
They need five days to get it done, it's like so so long for just adapter eh..
Okay, after sim lim we went to his mom's place to slack awhile as we have no idea where to go.. Everything was fine but something really make me feel so down when i saw a name that appeared in his inbox.. At that point of time i was confused and my mood was all gone. i kept quiet and not being myself after that.
Trying to tell myself i'm alright, i'm alright as i don't wanna let him know about it.
But i failed, my stupid tears appeared at the wrong time =.=. i thought i can hold back, but i can't.
He knows i'm sad and yes, he gave me all his care and love througout the day. thanks and i appreciate it. (:
You actually know i mind all these things, when i thought u didnt know..lol, im slow and dumb. Yes,when u asked me" u scare u lose to her?" i can honestly say yes because i feel that i'm so much worst than her. I feel inferior and low confident.. but.,. nah.. (:
I will give u all my trust and love, but i just need more time . trust me.. (:
I love the feeling yesterday when u send me home..it's so lovely and sweet., thanks baby.
:)
Everythings is cleared now. i will not think on the negative side but instead, i'm moving on and making a bright future. I think better now i guess? hahhaaa.. my little brain works at time.
Boy, do u know? U're still the perfect bf in my heart. it never changes at all..(:
I love u,ur singings,character, and your everythings except ur farts.. hahahha!
Nobody is perfect, so don't blame yourself for ur imperfect. u're excellent in many ways just that u didn't know. U're so kind always.. and remember u're not alone at all.. Many people cares for u my dear! (:
I'm imperfect in many ways and yes, u know all my imperfects ..hahhaha! =)
So, let all smile together. ^^
Friday, November 20, 2009
{ 12:25 AM }
Heyo my dear bloggy! did not update for a few days already.. Laziness strike me down..HahaHaha..
I will update maybe tomorrow or sat? Say till as if got people reading my blog like that.. Lol!
Okay, Gudnites people!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
{ 11:06 PM }
Nothing much happens today.:) But there's alot i wanted to say but it's not convenient to say it in here.
I was pretty disappointed and a little upset when i know she and he is still msg-ing each other. I thought they stopped but yea. I'm wrong, very wrong.
I pretended i was okay at that point of time but i'm not. People always says in chinese" opened one eye and closed one eye"..I actually does that myself. haha..
But, im not going to care, not not not not!! wendy quek, come on! u can do it. u definitely can!!Just ignored and u'll be fine though it's abit tough. But try! try try!
I wanna go shopping, shopping shopping ! . but im so broke recently.. :(
Tomorrow got school, can i not go? i wished so .. hahahha!
Got to go, ciao! ^^
I'm such a failure. a super big failure.
{ 1:29 AM }
i kept it all inside myself. though i need so many answers to my questions.
i'm tired. gudnites my dear blog! thanks for being my listening ears my lovely blog!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
{ 12:40 AM }
heyo my dear blog!
UT is finally over! less stress for me already, thumb up! But still, its not the end of it as there's still things troubling me. Gosh, why can't life be peaceful and trouble-free for everyone? i feel so pissed and stressed today, keep on feel like crying when i dunno why and the reason behind it.Raihana said i have got a gloomy face today and im somehow glad as there's people who care about me.Thanks Raihana! Thanks Eileen and fudin for sending me resources for maths! thank you very much! Though i don;t really know how to use that excel but i can keep it for next ut uh..(:
I noticed there's slight changes in my thinking and thought as well as me myself. i don't know what the little changes in me exactly but i hope to find out though. After maths ut today, walked to mrt station together with jie ying and then we went separate way.Jy went to her grandpa's house and i went to amk hub to meet baby. Wanted to catch bear bear to de-stressed myself and in the end, i wasted baby's money instead.=/ Cause it's so hard to catch as the catches didnt use any energy at all,it just touches e softtoyie and up .=.=
But, i feel happy still even though we caught nothing.lol.
Baby wet to BQ to drink so often nowadays, but yea im not the past me. i wont nag at him. It's his freedom to do so, i can't ask him dun go so often as i dun think he'll ever like it. I learned to think better now though when i'm alone i may be emo at time but it's part of growing up. I just hope that one day, what i wished wil all come true but i guess i'll have to wait very long.. haha!
Been listening to some same old songs again and again. it makes me feel calm and better when listening to it.
Okay, i'm done with all that i wanna type it out.
I'm off to sleep, gudnites ppl! (:
Though i never say anything, but i'm worry for u everytym u go drinkin.
be careful my dear.
imissu though i just saw u few hours ago.
gudnites (:
Friday, November 13, 2009
{ 1:01 AM }
Bad bad day! i nearly lost my darling lappy today! After class, went lepak at school canteen with jie ying awhile. We sat down and chat and ate some snack while waiting for ming hui to end her UT. When ming hui reached, we decided to go home and that's when i realised my lappy is gone. im feeling so lost at that time, and i tried to recalled where i put at.And... its in the toilet. JY and me rushed back to the toilet and checked, but its gone. I was almost going to cry but i didn't cause i feel really lost and scared. searched e whole canteen and cant find it. Finally, Jy and Mh suggest to go to one stop centre and checked if any kind soul helped me send it to there.
Rushed there, and asked the admin people for help and yes, they said they did received a lappy just now!
I felt so happy at that point of time! But they need to verify if that's really mine=.=.. Really thanks the girl who found my lappy! thank you!
I also wanna thanks MING HUI AND JY! they are more nervous and scared for me when i lost it..Jy run everywhere to search for it. thank you! i love both of u! They know i'm very scared and comforted me while searching. Yes, really thanks!=)
Dad found out about the accident things and yes, he's super angry. felt so stressed when he asked me for the detailed. and yes, got scolding and mom dunno about it yet. sis is so stressed but i cant help much. Her face for the whole day am so restless and stressed.=( yes, i wondered what dad will say when he see it tml.
i know he's angry, its natural.. But i hope things will get better.
Tomorrow is MATHS ut, and yes, i just look thru toll problem 2 and i stopped.it's like nothing get in my head at all.
Okay, i going to sleep already. Very very tired.gudnites ppl!
imissyoubaby.
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Thursday, November 12, 2009
{ 1:52 AM }
Had Bio UT today, wasn't that hard ,but same old thing as chem, i dunno how to do even the most simple question. I know and have a feeling that i will do badly for ut1. study is just so hard and tiring. i did study but idk why it cant get through my brain and stay inside. Just like what my dad said, i need to change the way i do thing. I'm slow in whatever i do, eating,drinking,studying,doing work and etc. But, it's hard to change overnight. im trying hard to change to a better person. i'm really trying. But people around me dun see my effort in doing so.
Okay, something real bad and scary happened today. I serously dislike those typical malaysians who speak like a babarian and shouting like a crazy woman. and those typical malaysia bengs. It happened so suddenly, i was scared by e scene and i cried. i know i sound useless but my tears just roll down so naturally. i feel so hopeless and helpless, i cant help my sis and how i wished papa were there and scold the crazy woman up, down ,left and right.
I thought of calling dear at that tym but i didnt cos i guess he's sleeping and dun wished to disturb him. And so, money is what people love. so realistic and argh.
I know she'e feeling real bad and scared.. But i can't help much cos i dun hv savings. i'm so broke recently. i spent all my money. i spent all my money for this week pocket money and even spend all that i have earned by helpin parent. Today is only wednesday. Nevermind! I will get to earned 80bucks on Sat & Sun.. Money can be earned back, no point getting troubled over it.
This coming friday is MATHS UT! i'm terrified and yes, feeling hopeless. Maths is never easy for me at all except when i'm in kindergarden? LOL. Just a word to describe" DIE".
i wished that u'll get well soon!
i wished that a smile will appear on ur nick soon!
i wished u're happy every single day!
i wished that ur dreams will all come true eventually.
i just love u so much that idk how to describe it out.
Monday, November 9, 2009
{ 11:49 PM }
Another Ut being ruined today, which is chemistry. It's not hard i can say but honestly, i dunno how to do! Out of so many questions, i only know how to do ONE question and guess what? i thought i will get full mark for that question but... i made a careless mistake as i did not read the question properly. =.=
I feel like really crying after the test but it's pointless cause i'm the one who did not make the effort to really sit down and study seriously. So there's no point pondering over it now. I'll just try my very best for the two other UTs which is Bio & Maths.
I sleep most of the time in class today as i'm not feeling well plus i'm really sleepy. Faci saw me sleeping and he even asked me am i alright cause my face looks sick. hahhaha!
I just done my RJ and Evaluation.. Everyday do the same old things which is so super lame.. hahahha!
I hate tomorrow module( physic) cos that faci is super nagging and always release us late , be it breaks or ending of class.
I dun wanna be late tomorrow, so hopefully i can wake up on time!hahaha..
Okay, gtg. Bye ppl!
Gudnites(:
Thursday, November 5, 2009
{ 10:33 PM }
Hey people!
I had my PHYSIC ut today, just one word to describe it " horrible!" .. I totally have no idea how to do those questions when i read through it, tried using all kind of formulas i can remember but still.. cant find any answer to it! =/
Feel so like crying while doing the test cos outta all e questions, i only know how to do 1 or 2 qns which is like what have i been doing these five weeks in school?! hahhahha!
I feel super sleepy and tired today in class, fall asleep when other teams is presenting and when i wake up, they already finished presenting. hahahah!
Furthermore im late for class for about 6min? FACI MARKED ME LATE! hahahhah! should have take my time if i know she's gonna marked me late.
I went straight home after UT today, it's raining and i waited for 169 like so long to get to woodlands interchange.while waiting, i feel so tired and lazy and actually feel like cabbing home but i didn't cause its a total waste of money and so i waited patiently for e bus..
Reached home, i took my dinner and awhile more i took a short nap. hahaha! its so fattening eh but i dun care cause im tired.. hahaha!
And i finished my Rj early today and here i'm blogging and crapping.. waahahahhahha!
Geraldine Goh, thanks for all the encouragements u gave me.. u're loved by me! <3 ^^
Okay , gudnites people!
:D
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
{ 9:07 PM }
Had my cognitive UT1 today, no idea how i have done but i really have no idea what all those qn is in the test. I just do my best and submit it as soon as i finished. Next will be physics UT on this coming thursday. Im afraid as i dunno anything about physics, i can't remember all those formulas. Its not like what i've been studying in secondary but more chim version.. Blame myself for always not listening in class.
Tomorrow is my dear ming hui's birthday! had a little and small celebraion with her during second break! Hope she will like the present i gave her and the card. it contain what i really wanted to say to u. (:
Cause i feel that birthday happens once ayear only, so its worth it to let the person be happy on that day no matter how much i spent and all.
Its been a few days since i last saw him, therefore went to find him after my ut today. But when i reached, that pumpkin fell asleep already but i did not wake him up. Guess he's really tired cause he snored. LOL! So, i went home after awhile.
I wonder if pumpkin miss me? hahahaha..
Actually, i feel a little disappointed but.. nah.. it's not important. At least i got to hear his sexy snore! hahahaha!
Did not eat dinner today as i dun like eating alone. ate one stick of my fav ice cream just now. nice! (cos my fridge only got ice cream=.= )
Okay, got to do my RJ and evaluation. bye people!
p/s : ignore my previous posts. switch my blog to private to myself cos i dun wan these posts to be seen.but. no point avoiding. i'm feeling much better? hmm. k, ciaos!
Labels: maybe
Monday, November 2, 2009
{ 9:33 PM }
i miss you alot alot. i miss the gentleness u treated me. i miss the jokes, chatting over e phone with u b4 i sleep, eating with u,going to movie together with u, hugs and many more. Now, it don't anymore. Everything is getting lesser ..but no point complaining cause its childish of me to do so. what i have to do now is " don't find faults , but find remedies". u're gettin more fierce and harsh towards me. idk if u noe and realised it but it do hurts.='( im weeping in secret where everybody is sleeping soundly. What u said yesterday was harsh and hurtful, i was actually so surprise to hear that from u. but it really came out from ur mouth and i have to accept the fact.
U love me but why did u have to hurt me with words and actions ..perhap it's all me that created all these craps.=/
life is not friendly to me these few weeks. it really am not..
i love, miss you but i cant say it as and when i wan anymore cause things is not the same as before anymore.
i can only say it thru here. i love you and i miss u ! did u hear me?baby!
Labels: find remedies
Sunday, November 1, 2009
{ 9:29 PM }
i'm depressed. tell me what to do.
someone just took a knife and stab in my heart. its painful and i could feel the blood bleeding profusely.
It surprisin to hear so many things which really stunned me to e max. from you. its surprising and very hurting.
i feel so useless and a failure.
im just like a old piece of torn cloth now. no value at all. people can do watever shit to this piece of torn cloth.:'(
